Grampa was always a well of inspiration:

"If at first you don't succeed, try, try Rohypnol."

I've been succeeding a lot since then.

Cinderella, where are you?
Red-headed damsel in distress, lost your shoe on the steps of Parliament House. I was one of the protesters pulling at your limbs and screaming “Racist!”, hazel eyes. Felt like we had a moment. Coffee?
Call 9428 3871, inbox #301

What do you get when you steal a shoe from a prime minister?

A hopping red kangascrewyouTonyAbbottkeepyourdamnmouthshut

Ingrid Elkner Peeps keep staring at me 'cos I have a MILF-moustache. What, like milk from a cow's titty on your lip is any less gross?
like - comment - share - 57 years old

Tune in to RabbleFM!    

Used, moderate visible damage to confidence, may leak from the eyes.
Going for a song! Does not come with big red car, hot potatoes, or dignity.
Other Wiggles sold-out separately.
Call Dorothy on 9825 7361

Coming up tonight on Channel 10:

7.00   The Amazing Racist

8.00   Raising Pope

8.30   Dirty Dancing with the Stars

                           All programs rated un-PC

Entertainment to erotic asphyxiate to!

- Beyonce gives birth to foam baby-bump
- Charlie Sheen denounces his 2011 behaviour as "crazy", strives to be a good father and return to his job of beating hookers
- Sacred ink: Justin Bieber gets Jesus tattoo on his calf, jiggles muscle to make Christ dance

Ingrid Elkner Every time I see a Lars Von Trier film I'm left thinking... 'That could have done with a fashion montage.'
like - comment - share - 14 minutes ago